Testimony
Hello! I am so thankful that you are taking the time to visit my blog and I pray that it encourages and challenges you in some way. On this page, I wanted to talk about my background, my testimony, and the purpose behind "Gracefully Broken."
My name is Gracie and I desire to be a world changer.
I was born into and have been raised in a Christian family. As a child, I went to church every single Sunday and Wednesday, I only really listened to Christian music, I prayed over meals and before bed, and I claimed that I loved Jesus. I was confused, though. I did not fully grasp what it meant to have Jesus in my heart and life. I didn't understand what it meant to love Him. I was in a comfortable place for quite some time and I became very prideful in the midst of this, which was dangerous.
At the age of seven, I heard a message on a Sunday night that struck me with fear. I was so scared that I was going to hell if I died, so I prayed the "sinner's prayer." Did I mean the words I said? Nope. I was a terrified child that didn't understand the full concept of the Gospel, and what surrender and life-change truly meant. The idea of hell in my seven-year-old mind was not the only thing that pushed me to repeat this prayer, though. I also wanted to get in the baptistry and show everyone how terrific I was.. I had a pride issue at the young age of seven and that is not what salvation is based upon. I certainly didn't get it yet, though.
As the next five years went by, I continued to live comfortably. I was lost. I didn't have a relationship with God, but I convinced myself I was fine. I never desired to learn about God, read the Bible, or even pray. That’s all because the relationship was never there in the first place. I felt like church was something I had to do. It was almost like a chore to me. I thought that everyone else felt that way too, but I was very mistaken.
Onto twelve-year-old me, who was going to church camp for the first time as a youth. I was thrilled! I was looking forward to rooming with my best friends for the week, swimming in the lake, and winning the recreational activities. My mind and heart were not concerned with the main purpose of this camp: the Lord. All I cared about was the "fun" I would have on a week-long getaway with my friends.
It was the last evening-worship service on a Thursday night, and as a message on eternity was being preached, it was like something was piercing me in the heart. Looking back, I realize that feeling was the Holy Spirit trying to work on me. The invitation came, and I let my pride get in the way once again. I did not want to go to the altar because of the way people would look at me. I didn't want people to think "Why is she going down there? She's already saved." In that moment, I let Satan take over. I was tangled in chains of pride that I was so blinded by. I went to the altar and prayed to ask for forgiveness for the sin I constantly found myself in, but I missed the point. I didn’t surrender anything over to Jesus. I felt guilty for not living up to “religious” standards that I thought were necessary. After I prayed this prayer, I thought I would change. I hoped I would be different. Instead, I continued to live selfishly, in the flesh, not recognizing my need for salvation—my need for the Savior.
Fast forward two years to when I turned fourteen. We moved to another state because my dad began a new job. I was so apprehensive because, again, I was comfortable. It's crazy how God will pull you away from your comfort zone because what He has in store for you is so much greater than what you know. I dreaded moving. I wanted to stay right where I was, because I had no idea that God would work so much in my life after the move.
During my freshman year of high school, I felt like I had no one. I would cry myself to sleep at night and stay alone in my room all day. I didn't want to talk to anyone, including my family. I had never felt so alone before. I was really struggling for the first quarter of the school year. Then, someone from my church boldly reached out to me. I will never forget it. She invited me to go shopping with her and her two little girls. It was such a simple gesture, but the heart behind it was beautiful. I didn't know how to respond at first because it was a difficult time for me, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out somewhere. But I decided to go. God was really working on my heart that day, drawing me to Himself, and I wholeheartedly believe it was because she felt called to reach out to me. She shifted my perspective on things. I went from being in depression to being excited about life. She was such a light for Christ and she certainly made an impact on me, even in my wayward days. Five years ago, she and one of her sweet girls went to be with the Lord. I am forever grateful for the time I had here on earth with them and for her willingness to follow the nudge of the Holy Spirit to reach out to me. I cannot wait for the day we will be reunited.
July of 2018, the summer after my junior year, was when I finally got it. We were going to student camp at Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters. This was going to be my fourth year at this camp and I was so excited to go! I had no idea what would happen on that Friday night, though.
My name is Gracie and I desire to be a world changer.
I was born into and have been raised in a Christian family. As a child, I went to church every single Sunday and Wednesday, I only really listened to Christian music, I prayed over meals and before bed, and I claimed that I loved Jesus. I was confused, though. I did not fully grasp what it meant to have Jesus in my heart and life. I didn't understand what it meant to love Him. I was in a comfortable place for quite some time and I became very prideful in the midst of this, which was dangerous.
At the age of seven, I heard a message on a Sunday night that struck me with fear. I was so scared that I was going to hell if I died, so I prayed the "sinner's prayer." Did I mean the words I said? Nope. I was a terrified child that didn't understand the full concept of the Gospel, and what surrender and life-change truly meant. The idea of hell in my seven-year-old mind was not the only thing that pushed me to repeat this prayer, though. I also wanted to get in the baptistry and show everyone how terrific I was.. I had a pride issue at the young age of seven and that is not what salvation is based upon. I certainly didn't get it yet, though.
As the next five years went by, I continued to live comfortably. I was lost. I didn't have a relationship with God, but I convinced myself I was fine. I never desired to learn about God, read the Bible, or even pray. That’s all because the relationship was never there in the first place. I felt like church was something I had to do. It was almost like a chore to me. I thought that everyone else felt that way too, but I was very mistaken.
Onto twelve-year-old me, who was going to church camp for the first time as a youth. I was thrilled! I was looking forward to rooming with my best friends for the week, swimming in the lake, and winning the recreational activities. My mind and heart were not concerned with the main purpose of this camp: the Lord. All I cared about was the "fun" I would have on a week-long getaway with my friends.
It was the last evening-worship service on a Thursday night, and as a message on eternity was being preached, it was like something was piercing me in the heart. Looking back, I realize that feeling was the Holy Spirit trying to work on me. The invitation came, and I let my pride get in the way once again. I did not want to go to the altar because of the way people would look at me. I didn't want people to think "Why is she going down there? She's already saved." In that moment, I let Satan take over. I was tangled in chains of pride that I was so blinded by. I went to the altar and prayed to ask for forgiveness for the sin I constantly found myself in, but I missed the point. I didn’t surrender anything over to Jesus. I felt guilty for not living up to “religious” standards that I thought were necessary. After I prayed this prayer, I thought I would change. I hoped I would be different. Instead, I continued to live selfishly, in the flesh, not recognizing my need for salvation—my need for the Savior.
Fast forward two years to when I turned fourteen. We moved to another state because my dad began a new job. I was so apprehensive because, again, I was comfortable. It's crazy how God will pull you away from your comfort zone because what He has in store for you is so much greater than what you know. I dreaded moving. I wanted to stay right where I was, because I had no idea that God would work so much in my life after the move.
During my freshman year of high school, I felt like I had no one. I would cry myself to sleep at night and stay alone in my room all day. I didn't want to talk to anyone, including my family. I had never felt so alone before. I was really struggling for the first quarter of the school year. Then, someone from my church boldly reached out to me. I will never forget it. She invited me to go shopping with her and her two little girls. It was such a simple gesture, but the heart behind it was beautiful. I didn't know how to respond at first because it was a difficult time for me, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out somewhere. But I decided to go. God was really working on my heart that day, drawing me to Himself, and I wholeheartedly believe it was because she felt called to reach out to me. She shifted my perspective on things. I went from being in depression to being excited about life. She was such a light for Christ and she certainly made an impact on me, even in my wayward days. Five years ago, she and one of her sweet girls went to be with the Lord. I am forever grateful for the time I had here on earth with them and for her willingness to follow the nudge of the Holy Spirit to reach out to me. I cannot wait for the day we will be reunited.
July of 2018, the summer after my junior year, was when I finally got it. We were going to student camp at Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters. This was going to be my fourth year at this camp and I was so excited to go! I had no idea what would happen on that Friday night, though.
On Friday night, we had a time of extended worship after the sermon was over where everyone could stay and pray if they wanted to. I stayed because I felt completely broken. I thought, “if I lost everything I have and Jesus was the only thing left, I would not be content.” In that moment, I knew something was so wrong with my mindset. Then the Holy Spirit, again, began to work on my heart. I knew that I had never truly repented of my sin, but instead had prayed a prayer of guilt for forgiveness at the age of twelve. I realized that I was living my life for myself alone. I've always been at church when the doors are open, I've tried to love others because that’s what we’re “supposed to do,” and I’ve had good morals...but in the end, that’s not what it’s about. Instead of pursuing a relationship with Jesus, I was pursuing religion. I was doing all of these “good” and “religious” things in my own power because I had no true Source of power. I had felt guilt, but never genuine conviction. I felt the Spirit move in worship services, but never in me. I had convinced myself that I was truly following Jesus, even though I wasn’t. I had a major heart issue that wasn’t fixed until that Friday night.
I knew that I needed to surrender my entire life to Him and turn completely from my sin, so that’s what I did. I wanted my heart to be transformed and my life to be changed, because I know this life is not my own. So I walked into camp believing the lie that being religious was enough and left transformed as a true follower of Jesus Christ. Now I can say with full confidence that if all I had left was Jesus, I would be fulfilled. This life is not my own, for it belongs to Christ.
Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
I will never forget that night. That was the night that my life changed forever. I was dead and in bondage, BUT GOD was so faithful. He made me whole. He cleansed me from the inside out, and I have been guaranteed an eternity with HIM because of the gift of salvation. On that night, I reflected on the cross. I remember thinking about my holy Savior, dying for me, someone so undeserving. I still cannot wrap my head around that. I cannot fathom the love that Christ has shown. It is unbelievable to experience the love, forgiveness, and grace He gives on a daily basis. This has given me the desire to pursue Him everyday. I love to spend time in His Word, converse with Him about every little detail of my life, learn more about His attributes, and reflect on all that He has done. I am in constant awe of the Creator that chooses to love and pursue me, despite who I am in the flesh.
Since that July, my faith has continued to grow so much. I am so, utterly in love with Jesus and I strive to be a light for Him everywhere I go. It can be difficult on most days because sin, temptation, and the enemy are very real. It would be easy to fall back into it all, but I have seen the importance of keeping the faith. With the help and direction of the Lord, I have stepped out of my comfort zone in so many ways, and it has been indescribable. This blog is an example.
I am not one to post often on social media and I don't tend to enjoy being vulnerable and transparent, either. However, I felt that the Lord could use this blog in a mighty way. I have such a passion for writing, especially when God puts something specific on my heart to share. This is how "Gracefully Broken" began. I thought that maybe someone out there could use some encouragement. It's always a relieving feeling when you realize that you aren't the only one.
This is my story.
I pray that this blog will minister to you somehow. I pray that you will see you aren't alone, and that there is a God Who loves you immensely. He wants a relationship with you! I pray you trust in Him. Know that you are loved and prayed for.
-Gracie
I knew that I needed to surrender my entire life to Him and turn completely from my sin, so that’s what I did. I wanted my heart to be transformed and my life to be changed, because I know this life is not my own. So I walked into camp believing the lie that being religious was enough and left transformed as a true follower of Jesus Christ. Now I can say with full confidence that if all I had left was Jesus, I would be fulfilled. This life is not my own, for it belongs to Christ.
Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
I will never forget that night. That was the night that my life changed forever. I was dead and in bondage, BUT GOD was so faithful. He made me whole. He cleansed me from the inside out, and I have been guaranteed an eternity with HIM because of the gift of salvation. On that night, I reflected on the cross. I remember thinking about my holy Savior, dying for me, someone so undeserving. I still cannot wrap my head around that. I cannot fathom the love that Christ has shown. It is unbelievable to experience the love, forgiveness, and grace He gives on a daily basis. This has given me the desire to pursue Him everyday. I love to spend time in His Word, converse with Him about every little detail of my life, learn more about His attributes, and reflect on all that He has done. I am in constant awe of the Creator that chooses to love and pursue me, despite who I am in the flesh.
Since that July, my faith has continued to grow so much. I am so, utterly in love with Jesus and I strive to be a light for Him everywhere I go. It can be difficult on most days because sin, temptation, and the enemy are very real. It would be easy to fall back into it all, but I have seen the importance of keeping the faith. With the help and direction of the Lord, I have stepped out of my comfort zone in so many ways, and it has been indescribable. This blog is an example.
I am not one to post often on social media and I don't tend to enjoy being vulnerable and transparent, either. However, I felt that the Lord could use this blog in a mighty way. I have such a passion for writing, especially when God puts something specific on my heart to share. This is how "Gracefully Broken" began. I thought that maybe someone out there could use some encouragement. It's always a relieving feeling when you realize that you aren't the only one.
This is my story.
I pray that this blog will minister to you somehow. I pray that you will see you aren't alone, and that there is a God Who loves you immensely. He wants a relationship with you! I pray you trust in Him. Know that you are loved and prayed for.
-Gracie
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